Butterfly Woman shushing.


How to get laid: the non-existent theory

We have all heard it and, unfortunately, we still hear it: how to get laid instantly; best way to get laid; how to make a woman beg to be with you; worship you; spend sleepless nights thinking about how life-changing it would be for her to have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be with the modern embodiment of Eros.

This has even developed into a massive (lucrative) industry that young people came to label as the world of ”pick up artists”.

As a young man myself, I was very excited to hear all about it and even read a few books about getting laid. I wanted to be very good with the other sex and have fun.

My goal was to get laid as much as I possibly can and be good at it.

Now, though there is some good advice in how-to-get-laid guides, most of it is not even women-specific, but people-specific. That is, most of the good advice is related to effective communication. The rest of information you find in such guides is utter nonsense.

What you should expect from this article

In this article, I am going to share honest advice on getting laid. When I say honest, I mean really honest, not the kind of honesty that is just another sales pitch.

I am going to share advice based on both experience and careful observation. I hope a lot of women will be reading this so that they can also share their experiences in the comment section in case they have anything to add.

Mind you, though. I said experiences, not truths.

As we are going to see, there are no magic formulas to get laid. However, there are signs and other useful information to keep in mind when approaching and interacting with women. They will improve your chances of getting laid.

Adapt the information you are going to read to the circumstances you find yourself in. Do not adopt them nor should you adopt any other ”theory” because there is none at least none of substance.

Let us begin!

Eliminate the big myth about what women want

Woman thinking.

What do women want? That is the question.

The very wrong question.

It is amazing how society puts all women in the same basket. We are aware that it is both inaccurate and wrong to generelise. Yet, when it comes to women, we do. It is like a blindspot. Maybe the case is such because we believe that there is one big secret to unlock all the mysteries of women’s pants.

In popular culture, we also hear stories about men who are ”good with women”. Though it is true that some men have certain qualities that help increase their chances overall, it does not mean that they have the recipe to get laid with any woman they want.

There is no such thing as a recipe to get laid.


Because even though Greta is a woman, not all women are Greta.

It is as simple as that.

Women are people, and people come with different personalities, experiences, attitudes and behaviours. There are no secrets. No love potions. Nothing but this simple fact.

While it is true that there are some common specifications (we will get into that later) almost all women appreciate, there still exists large differences among them on what makes men particularly attractive.

Leave your ego at home if you want to get laid

Rejection is part of the game

Ego. It is often the enemy to success in a lot of things we do. Getting laid is one of them. If your goal is to get laid as often as you possibly can, you will have to say goodbye to ego, or at least leave it at home to have a break from your body.

When you take getting laid seriously and start approaching women; whether they are women you already know or meet for the first time, you will have to be okay with rejection.

Rejection is part of the game.

In everything we do in life, we usually have to make several attempts before we succeed.

If you hold on to your ego or pride while approaching women, you are going to get hurt. A lot. It is not the right mindset to get you laid.

Do not get me wrong. Giving up on your ego when you go on your Casanovian spree does not mean you should not stand up for yourself when you have to. I am talking about rejection, not insult. There is a fine line between the two. However, you should have a relaxed attitude when approaching women and expect rejection to be part of your routine.

Advantages of rejection

The more rejections, the thicker your skin grows. This will not only decrease the anxiety and fear that is especially present when you embark on your journey to get laid with the women you like, but it will also develop mental toughness.

You will not be bothered by failure; which, as you will realise after doing this for a while, is always temporary.

In either case, you are a winner. If you get her contact details and later on meet her, kudos to you. If she says no explicitly or implicitly, kudos to you, too, because you have just developed a thicker skin and got mentally stronger.

How many people can handle a no? If everyone could handle it, everyone would be hitting on everyone. I do not see this happening. Do you?

Leave your ego at home if you want to get laid.

Understand what women look for to get laid easily

Men are products

Laptop. To women, men are laptops. The better their specifications, the more likely they will get laid with them.

Let us talk about the brutal truth.

To a lot of women, you are a product. A product with specifications. If you do not have at least one of these specifications, you will not get laid. If you do, you will.

What on earth is that supposed to mean? Let me give you the perfect example.

Imagine that you want to buy a laptop. You go to the store and you start looking at laptops that come with different specifications: memory, speed, graphics card, hardrive, screen size, weight, colour and so on.

Now, imagine that you had an unlimited budget. Which laptop would you buy?

Correct — the best laptop.

The best product wins the race

The idea is becoming clearer, is it not?

A woman’s unlimited budget is her charms. She knows she has an unlimited supply of what men want and is not going to run out of it anytime soon. So, she chooses the ones with the best specifications.

The rest goes to the graveyard.

It is cruel, but this is how the world works. A lot of women do not want to put it that way because they do not want to hurt men’s feelings. Even if some of them do not think that way, the process is very much a subconscious one.

Men are products with specifications. Women want to get the product with the best specifications.

What are the specifications? It is actually pretty limited.

Product specifications


Cliché, but it matters and always will.

When I say wealth, I mean rich. If you have a lot of money, you can get laid more easily than someone who does not. Even if some women do not like your physical appearance, they will pretend to like you anyway.

This sounds harsh, but I made it clear from the get go that brutal honesty is what we want, which is better than lies and fantasies. For many women, sex is little price to pay to no longer worry about money, which sadly rules everything we do. Quite literally.

Wealth is a superpower, and to a lot of women, it is one that you do not have to be born with, but can simply ”copy” from wealthy men. Same thing goes for men looking for rich women.

If you want to make a lot of women want you, get rich. The next best thing is a stable and high paying job.

The more wealth you have, the better ”laptop” you are.


Popularity is one example of status. It will definitely help you get laid.

A lot of women like popular people not only because of their apparent ”success”, but also because of how they make them feel about themselves. They become popular, too.

Everyone will know her name because everyone knows Mr. Popular. If she gets laid with you, her ego and self-esteem get a massive boost.

Status, though, often goes hand in hand with wealth; like in the case of famous people, which is even a stronger motivation for women to want to get laid with you.

They will be chasing you.


Smart is not the new sexy. Smart has always been sexy.

Artists, scientists and people who exhibit high levels of intelligence and creativity do have a higher chance to get laid, too. Women also include people with good education in this category. They appreciate the fact that you have interesting opinions and can see through things.

Women who find intelligence attractive often have strong intellectual interests and so they are looking for men who can enrich their perspectives, tease their intellect and make life interesting.

The smarter you sound, the more likely you are to get laid with women.

Physical attractiveness

Looks matter — a lot

This one also never gets old. No matter how hard some women may try to deny it, looks matter.

They always have. They always will.

Now, physical attractiveness is subjective, but for most women, it more or less means the same thing, with a few exceptions. It includes physical features, physique, clothing and even smell.

Concerning physical features, most women prefer tall, broad-shouldered men. If you are tall, you have better chances of getting laid. However, just like everything else, it does not guarantee it.

As for shoulder width, you can achieve it with the right exercises and nutrition. If you do decide to get in shape, do not just focus on getting broad shoulders. It will lead to muscular imbalances and you will look uneven. This brings us to the next specification; physique.

The ideal physique

To women, an athletic physique is incredibly attractive, and it works really works. I assure you.

What is an athletic physique?

When talking about women, we are specifically talking about bodybuilding. It is the best way to shape up. Doing some cardio is still necessary. However, focus on gaining mass. Here are a few tips to help you achieve this:

  • Exercise with free weights (barbells and dumbbells)
  • Rest 60 to 90 minutes between each set
  • Achieve full range of motion on every exercise
  • Stimulate the same muscle group at least twice a week
  • keep your protein intake high

Quite frankly, I cannot cover all important information to help you shape up in one article, but I recommend Weight Training for Dummies and The New Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding. You do not need to watch countless Youtube videos. Only do so when you are not sure how to perfrom a specific exercise.

Clothing style

What you wear is an extension of both your body and mind.

In fashion vs style, we talked about how important it is to dress to express, not impress. Show your personality through the way you dress. Your clothes are the windows to your soul because women are usually too far from you to look you in the eyes.

Dressing with style will definitely make a lot of women notice you, which will definitely help you to get laid. Just make sure you do not copy and paste how other people dress.

Show who you are through your clothes and you will attract more women.

Sexual preferences

Sexual preferences matter, too. This factor is completely out of your control, but it is still useful to know. Most women do have sexual preferences. They will not tell you about it because they do not want to feel they are racist. Even though preferences have nothing to do with racism, a lot of women avoid talking about it explicitly.

Some women like the ”Asian” look. Others prefer the ”European” look. There are also women who find the ”African” or the ”Middle Eastern” look the most appealing. The only thing you can do in this case is keep approaching women until you stumble on the ones that like your ”look”.

To sump it all up, if you really want to improve your chances of getting laid, work on all the specifications we mentioned. You do have control over most of them.

The stronger your specifications, the better laptop you are overall and the more likely women are going to choose you.

Read women’s minds to help you get laid

Woman's brain.

I am not talking about taking mind reading classes for the purpose of getting laid. I am talking about understanding women better.

How can you achieve this? Put yourself in their shoes.

Quite simple, is it not? It is always the simple things that we take for granted. Just because they are simple does not mean they carry less value or worth. This truly is one of those rare less-is-more instances.

Putting yourself in women’s shoes will improve your chances of getting laid significantly. You will be able to see things you were not able to see before adopting this mindset. When you start asking ”why would I do that if I was her?”, you will have more success in decoding her signals and intentions. It pays off immediately.

I am certain that pick up artists would not be happy reading this because their business is entirely based on making women a mystery. They are not.

This advice is one of the simplest yet most effective you can get to help you get laid.

A woman’s phone number is not her genitalia

Keep your expectations in check after you get her number

A woman holding a phone and smiling. Men mistakenly think if women gives them their phone numbers, they want to get laid with them.

This is like the second biggest sin in pick up culture. The woman’s number. The holy grail. It is the milestone that changes everything for a man — for the better.


Not so fast.

Remember why you are approaching women in the first place. You want to get laid. You want them in your bed. A woman’s phone number is just that; a number. A set of digits.

A lot of men exaggerate the importance of women’s phone numbers. They celebrate too early. I do not blame them because pick up artists marketed women’s phone numbers as the equivalent of success.

Getting a woman’s number does not automatically mean you ”won” her. She is probably interested, yes, but it does not automatically mean she is ready to get hot and heavy with you.

Do not mistake her unwillingness to give out her number as lack of interest

The idea that a woman does not really fancy you just because she did not give you her number is downright nonsense. This is another consequence of pick up artists’ unreasonable preoccupation with women’s numbers.

You did not ”fail” because you did not get her number. It is not the sign you should be looking out for. A number is just a means to an end. It does not matter which means of contact a woman offers you to keep in touch. Whether it is a number or something else is completely irrelevant.

What is relevant is keeping in touch. That is what it really is about.

Obvious? Yes. Yet, how many of us men cannot actually see this? I have personally known people who had success with women via email. I am not going to get into details about this, but I assure you that it is true and possible. As long as the woman does reply to your messages, there is potential for you to get laid.

The willingness to communicate is the ultimate sign.

Friendship does not mean you will never get laid with her

Why men got it all wrong about friendship

Man and woman shaking hands. Friendship between a man and a woman does not mean they will never get laid together.

Oh — no!

No, no, no! This is not happening to me! I am falling into the friendzone hole!

She locked me in the friendzone dungeon forever! HELP!

Hold on — you are not.

In the pick up artist world, the friendzone is horrible. It means that you will never get laid with the woman. It really is the brick-wall impass.

Let us see why this is ridiculous and how it can even be a positive sign. If a woman wants to be friends with you, it can mean two things:

  • She wants to get to know you and see whether she warms up to you.
  • She has a partner and she does not want to feel like she is cheating.

Let us address each of these points in detail.

She wants to get to know you and see whether she warms up to you

Now, why do they not do it right off the bat? Why do they not want to admit that they want to get laid with you from the very beginning?

Well, some women get uncomfortable with sexual tension. There is less perceived sexual tension in friendship and that makes some women feel more comfortable to get to know you. Also, friendship allows some women to focus on getting to know you more than the feeling that she wants you in her bed. Such women are not really good at handling sexual intimacy from the get go. They want to take their time in knowing who you are, what you like, what your habits are and so on.

This allows enough space and breathing room for her to decide whether she wants to escalate the friendship to the intimate level or not.

She has a partner but she does not want to rule you out

A classic! She has a boyfriend.

Mind you, though. She may or may not really have a boyfriend, but it does not really matter. She may say that she has a boyfriend because she does not want to say no out of sheer politeness. Try to understand that and simply respect her decision. After all, we want to respect people’s need for space.

If she really has a boyfriend and just wants to be friends (for now), you should take it as a compliment. It means she does not want to completely rule you out for future opportunities.

She is in a difficult position: she does not want to feel she is cheating on her boyfriend and she does not want to hurt you. How often do we men find ourselves in such situations?


Keep in touch with her. However, do not bet everything on her because her relationship may work so well she ends up marrying her boyfriend or something.

Focus on single women to get laid fast.

Confidence is not as crucial as you might think in getting laid

Man hiding in the dark. 
Shy men can still get laid if an interested woman is bold enough to make a move.

Women like confidence, right? Does that mean that shy men do not have any chance getting laid?

Not particularly.

Confidence is good because it shows women that you are comfortable in your skin, which in turn makes them more comfortable. Also, the more confident you are, the more women you approach and the higher your odds to get laid are.

It really is simple mathematics.

This does not mean that shy men do not have a chance. It does wonders when people stop thinking of women as aliens and more like human. How many times have you heard a woman marvelling at how cute a shy cat is? Or how adorable that timid hedgehog is in its attempt to hide itself from the world?

People are partly animal and so shyness can be adorable in humans, too. Shyness is not negative in and of itself. On the contrary, it can create even more sexual tension because it is harder to get a shy man make a move on a woman. This unavailability makes the idea of getting laid even more desirable to some women. It is human nature at play again.

I am not saying that you should play hard to get to make women want you. Potentially, it does not do anyone any good. Also, at the end of the day, shyness hurts the math. The fewer women men approach, the less likely they are to get laid.

Keep texting to a minimum if you want to get laid

Texting makes men and women too bold for their own good

Man texting on the phone. Texting too much decreases your chance to get laid.

Technology offers many advantages. However, just like everything else in the world, too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

How can technology decrease your chances of getting laid with women?

It lowers both their inhibitions and yours. I am sure you have heard of how shy people find it easier to communicate over text than in person. It also explains how ”bolder” you are when you text a woman than when you talk to her in person. This happens because the factors that usually keep communication in check (face, body language, eye contact, little time to think about what to say, etc) are not there.

Face to face communication is ideal. It is more natural, and it should stay that way. However, when these natural barriers are not present, you start saying things that you would not say to women in person — for the better or worse.

How texting can help you get laid — or destroy your hopes

Texting can be good for you because if you (currently) are a shy person, you would be able to express your romantic desire without feeling like you just killed someone. Texting provides a ”safe” place for shy people to tell things they would not be able to tell in person.

Unfortunately, this can also work against you in many ways. Women’s behaviour on the phone is also different. For example, they are more likely to say no over text. They also tend to ask questions that are more private; questions you may not want to answer yet. Women are also more likely to be rude on the phone.

Yes, you read that right.

Women and humans in general feel that they can say whatever they want because they do not feel ”threatened” by your physical presence. It is how the human mind interprets it.

So, how can you avoid the pitfalls of texting?

Avoiding the dangers of texting and improving your chance to get laid

Keep texting to a bare minimum. When I say minimum, I mean text only for the purpose of arranging a meeting. That is it.

If you really want to keep in touch more often than that, choose the next closest thing to in-person communication: video calling.

What if the woman does not want to video call? Exchanging voice notes is an option, but it is almost the same as texting. Yes, because the natural checks we talked about are non-existent in voice notes. If the woman does not want to meet nor video call, move on. Believe me, it is for the best.

If you do insist, keep in touch with the woman. Send her a text from time to time. Maybe she will gather the courage to video call and even meet you in person later. However, keep your expectations very, very low.

Just bear in mind that technology should only be a means to meet or get laid, not fantasise.

How Instagram will tell you who wants to get laid with you

Instagram: the excellent attraction analyzer

Young man in the Instagram sphere. Instagram will help you tell which woman wants to get laid with you.

Based on both personal experience and observation, a lot of women give implicit cues. If you want to spend your time on women you have a good chance to get laid with, watch out for such cues.

Instagram is a very useful tool and incredibly underrated for what it can do.

We already talked about how Instagram can be very useful in knowing someone better. However, it can also help you understand whether the women you pick up are interested in getting laid with you or not.

By recognising and interpreting the cues women give on Instagram, you will be able to tell who is down for getting laid and who is not. You will also be able to avoid time wasters.

Let us begin!

Check if she requested to follow you

If you exchange Instagrams and she did not request to follow you, it is highly likely she has no interest in you. If she was, would she not at least be curious about your pictures? She just wanted to get another Instagram follower without even pretending to want to follow you.

Unfollow her and move on.

Look at her follower to following ratio

Follower is bigger than following

If you find out that the woman’s followers outnumber those she is following by a huge margin, it is not a positive sign. Most probably, she is collecting numbers to feel popular.

It is the same reason why some women get on Tinder. They want to know how many ”likes” they will get. The more they get, the more desirable and attractive they feel. Such type of women are also unlikely to message you. Imagine you had hundreds, even thousands, of men messaging you. Would you reply to all of them? Good luck with that!

These women are also certainly going to unfollow you soon after you exchange Instagrams. They have big egos and plan to keep them that way by constantly making sure that others ”follow” them.

You are unlikely to get laid with them — unless you give the impression you are a top performing laptop in your pictures.

Follower is the same as following

If the woman has roughly as many followers as the ones she is following, it is a good sign. She probably does not crave the same ego boost like the women we mentioned above. She also probably does not see you as just another follower. You have a better chance with a woman like that. She will not pull the rug from under you when you are not looking.

I dare say you can trust this type more than the first, too.

Imagine that you have to follow someone, then unfollow them for no reason but to feel good about yourself. Does it not show lack of empathy and an abundance of — selfishness?

Follower is fewer than following

Last but not least, you have women who do not care about Instagram numbers at all. You may even find that the number of profiles they follow is higher than their followers. This is also a sign that she is not full of herself or using people to get an ego boost.

You have a good chance with this type, too.

Be conscious of the significance of Instagram likes

We talked about how a lot of women like giving away implicit cues. If a woman likes you, she will like your Instagram pictures. The more likes you receive from her, the stronger the sign that you can get laid with her. Do not underestimate this. It is a powerful sign.

If she does not like your pictures, it does not mean she is not into you. She may like your messages instead, which is also a good sign. If she does not like neither your pictures nor your messages, it still does not mean she is uninterested in getting laid with you.

Remember, as long as she is willing to communicate, all is well.

Final brutal advice: beware of those who want to take advantage of you

Woman with monster clown makeup. It is better not to get laid with the wrong women.

Women know what you want. They know you will always want it.

Sadly, some of them use this to their own selfish reasons. There are some bad people out there. It is undeniable. You do not need me to tell you about it, but you can never get too many reminders.

I personally know men who fell victim to false rape allegations. In some cases, the women who accused them of rape eventually apologised after their guilt got the best of them. In other cases, police investigation cleared the men’s names.

Do not delete your chat history with the women you talk to. You might need it if you meet one of the crazies. It can prove your innocence. Also, do not pay for women’s drinks or meals just because you want to get laid with them. Some of them will lead you on and when you start getting physical with them, they will feign surprise or shock.

If you really warm up to the woman and you feel she is not a fake, why not buy her a drink and; if you think she deserves it and is not going to break your bank, why not also a meal? Just do not forget to exercise your discernment at all times. Do not just be a meal ticket and beware of fakes.

You do not want to get laid with the wrong women.

2 thoughts on “How to get laid: the brutal truth”
  1. I would totally recommend all the tips stated out in this article to anyone seeking to get laid. They are very precise, backed up by concrete examples and based on my personal experience, very effective. I love the article and i enjoyed reading every single word of it. Keep it up

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